i will never coherently bang her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
