got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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