He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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