it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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