Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
