We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
