you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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