I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize