Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
