ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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