do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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