my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
