she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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