I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
