apparently the secret to your success is patron
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
