So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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