Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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