i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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