So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
