D3 body, D1 cock
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
