I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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