Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
