Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap