When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
