Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
