Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
