is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
