He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
