you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
