I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
where are my eyebrows?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
