I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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