there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
