my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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