your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
