i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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