glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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