No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
