is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
