If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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