Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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