i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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