I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I cut my penus on the lid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
