Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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