Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
