Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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