What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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