she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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