Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
