This is not my ceiling
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize