i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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