You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
