I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
