You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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