Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
