just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
