Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
