Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
