google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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