Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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