you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love you. Go after that dick
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