In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
