Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
