Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His nipple licking is glorious
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