I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize