Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
